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Married Options, from Kim Zussman

To the single guy, marriage is buying a put: a round bottom just below a long position. For ladies selling same, there is high initial opportunity cost but over time her position comes out on top.

Theta decay results in long-term downward drift, with negative gravitational risk premium. The buyer's asset declines by half, and the seller - well the seller's asset appreciates.

But never lie to the mistress.